Recent user posts
Someone is coming
A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her… Read more
The Prescription
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."… Read more
Miss Beatrice
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing… Read more
Should children witness childbirth?
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed… Read more
Love Letter from a Mathematician
Dear love - Juliet Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in Trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of Magnitude (likeness) from… Read more
Ms Jones do you know me?
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, &… Read more
Effects of changing jobs
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't… Read more
A Case for drinking more beer!
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest ones at the back are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling… Read more
A prayer for you today
Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckoned that the suffering of the present time are not worthy to be compared to the GLORY which shall be revealed in us ." ALL THIS IS POSSIBLE THROUGH JESUS A PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY. STARS DON'T STRUGGLE TO SHINE, RIVERS DON'T STRUGGLE TO FLOW ALSO YOU WILL NEVER… Read more
Ladies and golf
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,… Read more
Pay your bills
The Itch Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio… Read more
Menu offends Mugabe
A TYPOGRAPHICAL error that replaced a “v” with a “d” on a menu item during the First Family’s flight to the Far East last Friday left four Air Zimbabwe staffers suspended —and a sour taste in the mouth. President Robert Mugabe and the first family, on the Harare-Singapore-China flight last Friday,… Read more
Mapurisa ekuZimbabwe (ZRP)
Pakange pachiitwa competition yekuona kuti ndeapi mapurisa anogona kuferefeta nyaya saka pakatorwa C.I.A ; F.B.I ne C.I.O. zvakanzi paizoiswa tsuro musango mapurisa anenge agona kuronda tsuro iyoyo kusvika vaibata munguva pfupi ndivo vaizowana mubairo. Nokudaro C.I.A ndiyo yakabva yatanga kunzi ngavapinde… Read more
Enjoy Air Zimbabwe
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain, Gladstone Pambiri, welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air Zimbabwe. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight… Read more
You are not worthless in God's eyes
Sometimes we just need to be reminded! A well-known speaker started off his seminar by: holding up a $20.00 bill In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded… Read more
Good old Zimbabwean day!
Do you remember Joseph Madhimba vachiverenga news with his voice paRadio 3 and how we as kids ran to hear him speak without even making sense out of the news. Christmas will never be the same, families are now all scattered,kurasika chaiko. Ko the public transport back then, the peugeot 504 yataigara… Read more
Riddle
What gets longer when pulled. Fits between your boobs. Inserts neatly in a hole. and works best when jerked ? Scroll down to find the answer.… Read more
GOODBYE MOM
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look… Read more
DON'T CHEAT
A newly wed bride tells her husband, A WOMAN walks into the butcher shop just before closing time. She says, "Thank Heavens I've made it in time! Have you any chickens?" The Butcher opens his fridge and takes out the only chicken left, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 1,5kgs. "… Read more
JUDGE NOT
BEST POEM IN THE WORLD I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and the trash. There stood the… Read more
Vasikana vemazuva ano
Vasikana vamazuvaano vanogeza vakazvivharira, vopfeka vakazvivharira vobuda vakashama.… Read more
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